Goblin Lands 2 Heroic Event 23: The Pain of Memory

#1

Auf Ur’sa Ur’TlaRapi stood before the assembled leaders.

She looked sad and haggard.

"I have had many a long and sleepless night. I tried as many have to do good, to do right. But even my choices to spare the Dead Captain Castiel cost many lives.

Is belief worth it? Is morality worth it? So much pain I have felt because I could not live up to my great morals. And what has it gained me?"

All were moved to see the ancient wisewoman’s crisis of faith in herself.

"We all do things we regret. My greatest regret is that I did not think to do as the Kul Gul Rapi had done. I did not give freely of water and food when I could to save the lives of many. But my pride was even worse, to think so little of the Bruskti to never even think they could do such great kindness. How many bruskti did I drive away with light and healing in my youth who could have helped our great mission…

What is your greatest mistake?"

Next in the circle around the tree sat Uhryu Bill, called Bill of the Green Pants for his bright green lower fur. He spoke with great sadness, “I can’t even begin to enumerate how many times I failed.

I have failed many times, from my personal failings as a father to my failings as an Uhryu. We started out so well, with redfurs and others joining us as time passed. We took on watching other tribes, aiding who we can and trying to protect those that need it. For it seem like our responsibility, that those who are further along our path.

What is my greatest mistake? I would have to say, at least on a personal level, the failure to my son. His strength and intelligence is a boon to all he would help, and has an ability to make hard decisions quickly. What could he have done for us if I have been able to look past my prejudice and raised him to be a good gog. What could he have built?

As an Uhryu, it is my failures with our Leader, Rapi’og. His headstrong will was only overcome at times by force, of which very few could withstand. The pain this has cause, the death that my mistakes have lead to much death, including many of our tribe but many more of the other tribes. Here in Karov, it is most obvious. The good works that we did lead many tribes to us, and lived in our land. Now they go hungry as some many were living among us, and most recently the caves and other places we planned to stay in have been destroyed. We now are homeless, refugees in others land, just as others came to us, now we are guest of others.”

Auf Ur’sa nodded sympathetically, she also said, “There is no shame in being the guests of others. Only through mutual aid do species thrive. Through living in the lands of others you learn what holds meaning for them, and in so doing you gain more understanding of the challenges this world presents. But it also presents opportunities to come together and create something new.

Next in the circle sat Mama Rapigog, the matriarch of the Kul Gul Rapi Family. She was known for the great charity of her tribe, how many they had saved through their gifts of water. Even now areas once arid desert were abnormally green from the extra irrigation. Hundreds of thousands of families were still together thanks to that one policy of their tribe.

Mama Rapi’gog pursed her lips. Many of the great wrongs the family committed were long in the past. She had tried to guide the family to her vision, one that honored both the Thunder Gods of her youth and her father’s dream for how things should be and the Bruskti traditions. “I don’t consider this a wrong but some consider dis a great wrong, other families feel anger towards us for it, but I ordered da family to allow in da earthers into da family. It a big violation of family traditions.” she said almost wearing the statement as a badge of honor. She quickly realized that wasn’t nearly her greatest crime.

“Way back over a year ago we raided da earthers building a lake in Brez. They were charging for da Tla, and dis is wrong but we didn’t seek to right dat we just wanted their coveted steel.” She shook her head, looking back it seemed so petty, “Da true crime though, dat was when we were leaving Brez we raided an orphanage. Da Bruskti its hard for us to have babies. They born needing da fear da parents have to carry them on raids, so instead da Bruskti we steal other children, its the only way we can survive.”

Auf Ur’sa lowered her head for a few moments holding back her prodigious anger. Then she thought, how can I rethink this matter. I did not think as the Bruskti did when we needed water. Now they need, and before Auf Ur’sa called for their death, another thought nudged its way in. Maybe we did grow more from our failures than we do from our successes, she thought.

“The choices for unwanted children in these lands are enough for the Earthers to label us Goblins. What choices do orphans and the abandoned children have? Join gangs and raid and loot to keep food in their mouths? Be flesh and currency for the Slavers among our kind and the Earthers? Or join the army of the Der’al Collective or the United Tribes of Refuge. In either case, dying for politics they may not even understand,” said Auf Ur’sa, “Let an agreement be forged that when those tribes here find children who are unwanted, they be given the help to join the Bruskti of the Kul Gul Rapi. They will learn the art of seaships, of fishing, and protected by the Kul Gul Rapi. And all the child must agree in exchange is that they swear a promise to always provide water to those in need, to keep this tradition of the Kul Gul Rapi alive.”

#2

A broken looking man arose, glancing around at the crowd. He was dressed in tarnished plate mail, looking as though it hadn’t been buffed or polished in weeks, revealing numerous scars from old battles. A rough-spun blackish traveler’s cloak adorned his back, and a battered pair of formless leather boots shod his feet. His head was close shaven, a sellsword’s haircut, and a close cropped beard circled his mouth. He spoke with a somber tone, humbly and not making eye contact with anyone in particular.

“My name is Ornel Lashar, and I have committed many sins. Most of these, I would not call mistakes, in fact, many of them were quite purposeful.” He said with a slight smile.

“However, there is one thing I did that caused far more harm than I could have anticipated, and I regret it more than anything I’ve done before or since. It caused me to lose a great many friends, and earned me the scorn of others. I took something was not mine to have, and took exile along with it. The cost of this action far outweighed the reward, and I cannot atone enough for what I have done. Perhaps with the passing of time, I may once again rebuild the bonds that were lost. For now however, I am forced to walk the Goblin Lands in exile.”

He bowed to those present, and took a seat once more.

Auf Ur’sa said, “You have told us little of what it was you stole, or how its consequences affect any. I am sorry, Ornel Lashar, I can give no advice without specifics. I hope one day you return the item in good faith, so that the original owner might have closure.”

Glog looked down at his green and white fur. Many of the youths that had once begged him for stories or to learn from him did not seek him after his return. Most of the gogs he had once called friends, who he had stood next to in battle, who he had eaten with and mourned with, would not even look at him. He felt no shame in the color of his fur. What did shame him was his actions that caused him to have such fur.

“I am Glog. This is well known. I doubt a pup in Brez could fail to see who I am or know what I have done.” Glog said as he hung his head in shame. " My greatest mistake was letting my desire to protect my tribe to cloud my mind and cause me to hurt so many. I only wish… I wish I could have been the leader my Tribe deserves."

Auf Ur’sa said, “You have told us little of what it was you specifically did. But you say your greatest mistake was your desire to protect your tribe and that clouded your mind, I see much of that. A desire to protect what you already have often leads to bad decisions and avoidance of new experiences. Nothing we carry with us in this world we get to keep. All we keep are the stories we tell, the relationships we form, and the feelings evoked by the people who care about us.”

Auf Ur’sa looked to Lalder who sat next in the circle. Lalder looked up, his heart still troubled by Glog’s theft of the Teardrop hammer.

Lalder said to the group “I have been forced to look at my failures over the few years. There has been a pattern evolving. There have been a few failures, but they share a common cause. And this cause has been very hard for me to admit to. But the events of the last few weeks have made me see this.

Everyone has an ego. You need one as you have to believe in yourself to accomplish anything. But my ego was getting the better of me. And I didn’t see it. I overestimated myself and my forces and underestimated opponents and enemies.

As I am more powerful personally than ever before, my tribe is doing great, and we have the UtR doing well, that has only fed my ego to make it bigger.

In this is where I made my greatest mistake in making the deal with the Djinni without understanding the consequences. Thinking I could control the outcome. That the consequences would not be that bad, I could handle them.

I look back on the mission to the Djinni to get the blood needed to make the leyas generators for the carrier, I see the signs of it now. I see how I took advice, but didn’t listen. I see how I missed a young gog getting ready to betray us, because he didn’t matter. I didn’t realize how powerful the Djinni were and underestimated their cruelty. I was sure that my plan was going to work.

All of these things should have mattered. These were mistakes made because I was too overconfident. My Ego too big. And that is what I must resolve.”

Auf Ur’sa replied, “Auf Lalder, we all require our confidence to keep fighting against overwhelming odds…Hope and confidence form the backbone of pushing forward against overwhelming odds like the Olgogs face on Der’al, and in all aspects of life. Confidence is good, but we must never tie or confuse our confidence in our selves, or our sense of self, to the artifacts we craft, the soldiers we command, or the edifices we build. Like our lives they are transitory, whereas the self is eternal. Eternal yet changeable. Always growing better if we allow it to do so.
We must use all these tools we access in a transitory way to make the world better for all. For that is the one act the ego should revel in passionately.”

#3

Another Earther was next in line, but this one had been until recently a dreaded enemy of the Olgogs.

Paladin Captain Durandal shook his head with sadness "I have made many mistakes as well, my mistakes have cost many good men their lives. I failed the people of Jamesville, their homes burned, their water irradiated. I should have requested reinforcements sooner, I should have worked with the people teaching them how to defend themselves. We should have prepared them better when it came to combating the Leyas. Our ignorance and self righteousness convinced us to keep the severity of the threats to a minimal. We convinced ourselves that the people couldn’t handle the truth, that the “magic” wasn’t such a big threat. When I unlocked the powers of Ascendus I convinced myself that I didn’t need to train people after God had blessed my blade. Too many people died because of my mistake, innocent people who just wanted to live their lives. I was their protector yet the town is but ash now.

Now I guard Absalom, I shall not make the same mistake twice. I work with the Olgogs and they have taught some of my people how to use the Leyas to better protect ourselves. No longer will I take all of the burden, I will not let arrogance blind me to the fact that I am but one man. I shall accept help and I shall teach my people how to defend themselves so the past doesn’t repeat itself. May God guide me to the true path."

Auf Ur’sa was surprised to see such emotion from a human. They were often so duplicitous, that she wondered if they really felt emotions like Olgogs did. But that outpouring definitely convinced her of the Earthers sincerity. “Thank you Captain. I know my Olgogs here also offer our aid to help make Absalom a safe and peaceful home.”

Next came another traditional enemy of the greenfurs, it was a Red Fur but a juvenile.

Yirhug was probably the youngest there. Still a gangly juvenile Pit Mongrel, his surgically replaced eyes and silk clothing marked him as a merchant from Drewsport.

He said, "I have made mistakes. My worst mistake was leaving Gorkaog as Champion of the Ka Gor Tribe. If/when his commands lead to the death of my beloved father, I would have acted many tribes would have suffered less.

Im not even saying I should have killed him. I could have stayed and turned popular opinion against him. Maybe I could have convinced the old elder to put another in charge instead of him.

I guess my real mistake isn’t that I didnt act.

It is because I ran away. I didn’t get my way, and I tried to remove myself from the situation.
I should have faced the situation for good or worse.

I often run away or remove myself when I cannot get my way.

I struggle expressing myself when I am feeling hurt"

Auf Ur’sa, “It makes sense to feel fear and want to run away. Sometimes it feels like no matter what you say in a situation it just gets worse and worse. But never run in those situations. Always stand tall and see what the outcome is. Sometimes the outcomes that frighten us the most are the greatest opportunities. Opportunities you never expected to see or experience, but only came about because of change. Change often hurts, and stresses and makes you feel like you want to cry and curl up in a ball. But regression is not the answer. Facing these fears and understanding they don’t hold you back is key. And one day, if you choose, you will have gathered enough allies to be able to push Gorkaog out of power without violence…or his own karma will catch up with him.”

Tor’Lur of the Tor’Lallur was next, with a wide space around him due to a unique rank odor the tribe seemed to cultivate. He said, "Tor’Lallur mistake? Make mistake? hmmm. In anger make sick worse for other with no mean to. When Mag Deran attack, make sick worse in area. Meant only make sick in Tor’Lallur land, defense. It spread, Tor’Lallur try help. Send tribe clean up sick. Some suffer before finish. Almost done, more work need. Tor’Lur think more before do such again. Try do better.”

Auf Ur’sa said, “Trying better is good, succeeding even better. Inflicting suffering on others for your own gain, will only push others away from you.”

#4

Scout sat crossed legged scratching his head, tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth deep in thought. He knew of the reputation of his people in general, the bastards had a knack for getting themselves into trouble that they could not get themselves out of. Scout didn’t really have that problem. He knew he had screwed up at times, but was able to go back and fix them like going to the hell dimension and saving Rogarth; sweet, problem solved. He knew of the metaphorical big mouths of his people, the little bastards said things without putting much thought into it; that was due to the lack of self preservation and he heard tales of Scribe doing just this multiple times already. Thinking back to some of the things he said, he definitely did not regret telling off my little morgothian or mentioning the Home Forge conspiracy to Hvalik the Opal. But the thought of the Opal, it brought thoughts to the other K’iou that he need worry about, both as a friend and sometimes as a burden.

The bastard looked off to the side, and started speaking, "I have been considered many many different things in my time; some have called me a hero, an adventurer, a master thief, a lover, a monster, a troublemaker and even a villain. Through it all, there is one thing that I have not been and that is a senseless killer. For the longest time I could just pawn a lot of it off to bad dreams, flashes of things seen through the haze, and then I regained my memories of it all. Maybe it is the flood of the memories of the past, or having the honored position of the yellow godsword, or hell maybe even a bit of maturity, but I must admit the responsibility that I have been running away from. I hated the thought of the cursed k’iou of the Falling Star homeforge being slaughtered for an act they could not control.

My greatest mistake is not keeping watch of the killing machine that is Forge, and I realize that he has followed me down to the Goblin Lands bringing with him his unmatched rage. He is a destructive force, the likes that even compare with the Daemonsbane monster. I had hoped I could maybe find him a good girl, and that he would be chill staying with the Tsogari for a time but I realize that plan was too good to be true."

Auf Ur’sa agreed, “While a life among the Tsogari might be everything you want and need, everything meaningful that speaks to your heart, it does not mean that your friends will feel it as anything other than a prison. We each find our own way, and hope that along the way we join up and take down the biggest obstacles we face together.”

Kolgol spoke, his voice carrying well, even though he seemed to speak softly.

"One of my greatest mistakes as both a leader, and a friend, was allowing the loss of Ka’mag the Aufgog. In my hubris I allowed him to be pushed around because he had different goals than my own. He had the sort of power that was not so different from my own, and for that I led him to be shamed and humiliated. Because of this, he left to seek new power and allies, and as a result, he was slain in the attack on the Isle of Mag’Buskt.

While he was a traitor and a scoundrel, it was my actions, or the lack thereof, that led him to feel so abandoned by his own tribe. It is fortunate that one of his kin has been able thrive in light of this event, else I would be at a loss for words to speak when I meet him in the eternal fire."

Auf Ur’sa agreed, “We must always be careful of how we ostricize those around us. Even if we just want them to change their behaviors, sometimes we push them into places where they will make self-destructive and painful decisions that harm themselves and us all. Always allow others to save face, so that a relationship may be forged in the future.”

It was the Unenese pirate captain of the Batavian Bat next.

Captain Dol looked around the tree, wondering if she should say anything, if she had anything to add that could compare to what she had heard from the others. In truth, Dol has tried to live a good life of helping those around her, not just her crew or her town. But there was one regret. One that still haunts her nightmares each night.

“I took part in a weather atrocity that claimed the lives of so many Earthers, it was a group effort that got completely out of hand. We gogs have great destructive capability. To create is more difficult, it takes more patience, more practice. The storm froze the entire town and all of its inhabitants to death. I was mainly casting the clouds and lightning over the sea to create a distraction of an oncoming storm. Seeing what became of the town, the residents all flash frozen, the horror on their faces like it was stuck in a photograph. It still disturbs my slumber. I have tried to save gogs and earthers alike since then, creating a home where both can live and excel, but no matter how much good I do, it will never erase what has happened in the past.”

Auf Ur’sa replied, “The Past cannot be changed, but hopefully our mistakes make us a better person in the future. Many died as you admit, but for every life you save you can take heart in knowing you make the future better.”

#5

Urik decided that was time to speak up.

“You know I’ve had a pretty good year if I’m honest. But there is one thing. A while ago, I was on a job and something I did got somebody killed. I didn’t even know the guy and he didn’t need to die or even get hurt for the job to be done. Really it was already done. I was just angry and I left a trap behind. It was unprofessional. I’ve tried to keep emotion out of my work since then. I don’t really mind the blood I know I have on my hands, but getting somebody killed for nothing more than that I was in an annoyed mood.” He shook his head. “It hasn’t sit well with me since and I mean to never do it again.”

Auf Ur’sa shuddered at that, “To kill for self defense I understand. To kill for frustration shows how we have devalued our fellow sentient beings. To kill just to feel superior is a path to extermination of others.”

Krodnok listened to the procedings as he thought. I’m a god, he thought. I don’t make mistakes.

Then he really thought about it. There was one thing…

“Actions aren’t the only thing that one can regret,” Krodnok began. "A person can also regret words. That is where my mistake lies. In spoken word.

“I had an idea. A desire,” he said. "And I shared this idea with my daughter. This proved to be my mistake. I told her that I wanted to wait. That the plan hadn’t been complete, wasn’t fully formed yet. That, apparently, didn’t matter to her. She took my idea, and ran with it. In her own way, mind you. Which was the opposite of how I wanted to handle the situation.

“People died. Some of my own people died. Innocents died. I don’t know the numbers, and probably never will, but innocents died. How my daughter handled the situation, it caused enough of a distraction, to allow others to also take into the area and do damage elsewhere.” He paused, head down. “Innocents died, and it was the distraction my people caused that led to it. It was the orders of my daughter that led to the distraction.”

Krodnok paused again. After a moment, he raised his head. “And it was my idea, and my sharing of this idea, that led to her orders. those who died, innocent or not, is on me. It’s my fault, and I regret it.”

Auf Ur’sa watched the dead Olgog closely, knowing she didn’t feel genuine regret coming from the body. Was it because of a lack of heartbeat? Or because of a lack of remorse?

Auf Ur’sa said, “Often we share ideas with others without understanding how those ideas will be taken by those shared with. You shared an idea with your daughter, she ran with it. Does that responsibility reside with you? I don’t honestly know. I know there was some desire, some want that led to the idea originally. Maybe that is the real core of the sin, not just sharing the idea and having that idea taken on by another in an unexpected way. But it was that unadmitted desire that really laid down the road.”

Yagogi’al sat before the assembled olgogs, waiting to speak his peace.

“I have had to make many choices for the survival of my tribe, and there have been some decisions that were questionable. Some would say that pride has been my greatest sin, although with age comes the experiences of being able to admit when I have been wrong. It has been a matter of pride raising my cub, teaching him how to stand up for himself and protect our lands. I look back at the once beautiful and bountiful lands of Karov and am greatly saddened by the state of affairs that it has come to. It is my regret that I have not been a better neighbor and greater friend to the tribes adjacent to our hunting grounds. This speaks of lending a hand out, trying to see things from their point of view and even protection to the GulTor’Uf, the Tor’Lallur and even the wild gor’ab. Even though we have not understood all of their ways, or seen eye to eye in the past, it is the evidence of the tribe of Mag Bruskt and the Kul Gul Rapi family that has proven that there is good to come of working together. Having a better relationship would lead to the strengthening of Karov, not giving the current impression that the Karovians are weak and fall apart at the first disagreement. We have joined with the United tribes of Refuge, but that does not necessarily mean we cannot be working hand in hand with out neighbors to make Karov a better place to live.”

Auf Ur’sa replied, “Again maybe ego is a challenge for you as you say others say. Because you see your tribe’s place on the world stage but not on the local neighborhood. You do not see how your actions negatively affect your neighbors with enough foresight to avert that suffering. When we share land, we must work together to make that land thrive.”

Next came the Brezan Goblin King.
Urog sighed. He didn’t know what to say. He made mistakes. Some were more plentiful than others. At this point, not enough time had passed to determine what was his biggest. He wasn’t even sure what he regretted most. Was it Thomasville, which almost ruined the Great Northern Army? Was it focusing too hard on Simonsburg, only to watch it fail as we speak? Was it how he handled Olgog the Olgog??

“Pride is my greatest regret. Brezans are a proud gog, even when we’re considered Trash. I’m slowly dragging my city out of its doldrums, but I make mistakes. Too many. I don’t always hear the message. I sent an army against the Earthers in Thomasville. I did it to help my friends. It almost meant our ruin. We destroyed the city, but the Earthers multiplied. When I was challenged by Olgog the Olgog, I challenged him to a duel in the Brezan way… ways which fail the gogs we serve.
While Olgog the Olgog was defeated, his won army was left listless and without leadership. His failures are still not repaid, and we await a day when he may again be olgog. When my power was threatened, I sent a force to prevent infilitration of my city. All it did was lead my enemies to an even greater adversary. I do not take a big enough role in my council. We often do things that lead to more war, not more peace. My pride agrees with our actions. It is very Brezan. Time to be less Brezan… and more Olgog. I don’t trust enough, and trust too much. We start wars with the K’iou, we make allies with the selfish and self-interested … there is too much to atone for.”

Urog knew he was rambling. “Pride, strength… they are fleeting. I must stop relying on them. Too many mistakes.”

Auf Ur’sa rose and clasped Urog on the head saying, “Yes so much in this world is fleeting, title, wealth, objects, fame, pride, but the things that last. Friendship, family spirit, compassion, these things will last when all else has become ash.”

#6

:oRewards
:o

GulTor’Uf gains Bill gains +1 L.R. To maximum of LR 6 and may raise 1 Leyas already known to +1 level.

Kul Gul Rapi gains Mama Rapigog gains +1 L.R. To maximum of LR 6 and may raise 1 Leyas already known to +1 level.

Black Lorne gains Black Lorne may raise 1 Leyas he already knows by 1 level.

Or’Lur gains Glog may raise 1 Leyas he already knows by 1 level.

Lalder gains Auf Lalder gains +1 L.R. To maximum of LR 6 and may raise 1 Leyas already known to +1 level.

Lord Grimaldus gains Paladin Durandal gains +1 L.R. To maximum of LR 6 and may raise 1 Leyas already known to +1 level.

Tor’Lallur gains Tor’Lur may raise 1 Leyas he already knows by 1 level.

Scout gains Scout may raise 1 Leyas he already knows by 1 level.

Ka Gor gains Yirhug gains +1 L.R. To maximum of LR 6 and may raise 1 Leyas already known to +1 level.

Kolgol gains Kolgol gains +1 L.R. To maximum of LR 6 and may raise 1 Leyas already known to +1 level.

Alexraizer gains Captain Dol may raise 1 Leyas she already knows by 1 level.

Urik’s Outcasts gains Urik’s Choice: One Tribal who CAN use Leyas gains +1 L.R. To maximum of LR 6 and may raise 1 Leyas already known to +1 level.

Krodnok gains Krodnok’s Choice: One Tribal may raise 1 Leyas they already knows by 1 level.

Yagogi’al gains Yagogi’al’s Choice: One Tribal may raise 1 Leyas they already knows by 1 level.

Gangs of Uf Mag’og gains Urog gains +1 L.R. To maximum of LR 6 and may raise 1 Leyas already known to +1 level.